i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
