I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
