Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
