He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
