can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
