Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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