So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we made out on top of his cat.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
