can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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