best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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