i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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