You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
