Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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