Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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