It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
