either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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