escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
areolas are like halos for boobs.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
