with your own penis?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
