I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
