Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
