She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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