I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
