and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
