omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
