oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
