thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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