Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
