We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
