Your tits are I can't wait for
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
