Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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