Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
