i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
