I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
