I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
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