I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
