Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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