So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
