Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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