shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
