belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
