I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
