He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
