Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
