He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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