I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
