Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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