it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
