The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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