I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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