Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
