And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
